Three Weeks
by Trickster-jz
Summary: Jaina and Zekk meet their most fearsome opponent ever – a computer model that they are completely unfamiliar with. Vaguely connected with Rebuilding


**Rebuilding: Three Weeks****   
By Trickster_Jaina_Fel   
  
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Disclaimer**: Don't own Zekk, Jaina, Lowie or…well, much of anything, really. G Lucas does – life sux, eh? Not making any money, this is just for my own enjoyment.   
**Summary**: Jaina and Zekk meet their most fearsome opponent ever – a computer model that they are completely unfamiliar with   
**Keywords**: humour, silliness, friendship, Jaina, Zekk, Lowbacca   
**Author's Note**: be prepared – this is about the silliest thing I have ever written. I don't even know where I got the idea – well, actually, I do (my family's computers/internet was being screwy). Anyway, before you rip me apart because I make both J and Z look like techno idiots, remember that both are ship people…not computer geeks. The fact that they can barely even recognize the computer as what it is doesn't really help, either :P  
**A2**: i originally wrote this for the "Rebuilding" series, but there's no need to read BMS, FO or Run to understand this...so we'll call this a distant cousin, rather than a sequel ;)  
  
  
  
  
  
Zekk: What is it?   
  
Jaina: Well…I *think* it's a…computer. After all, that's what you ordered.   
  
Z: *stares in scepticism* You've got to be kidding. I know it was built by the Chiss, but…I've seen computers before – they don't look like – *that*   
  
J: Well, apparently this one does.   
  
Z: How does it work?   
  
J: Um…   
  
Z: *Vong*. Well, let's see…it can't be *that* hard.   
  
J: You underestimate computer programmers' abilities to confuse civilians.   
  
Z: Shush. Try to be optimistic here.   
  
*pause*   
  
Z: Have you ever used one of these things before?   
  
J: Not really…not this, uh, model, at least.   
  
Z: I repeat – *Vong*.   
  
J: I think that just about sums it up.   
  
Z: Alright, we can do this…now where's the "ON" button? *starts to press random buttons, causing lights to blink red*   
  
J: *slaps Zekk's hand* What are you doing?!? What if you press the wrong button? You could blow us to kingdom come!   
  
Z: Jeez, calm down.   
  
J: *huffs* Sor-*ry* if I don't want to be one with the Force before my twenty-third birthday. *eyes the computer suspiciously*   
  
Z: Well, we're going to have to try to turn it on eventually.   
  
J: *looks at the computer doubtfully* Technically, we don't.   
  
Z: *snorts* *sarcastically* Yeah, and *technically* we don't have to send Master Skywalker these reports.   
  
J: We could just write them by hand…   
  
Z: And how would we get them to your uncle, hm? On a good day, it would take three weeks.   
  
J: *grumbles* You just *had* to get the newest model from the Chiss – didn't you?   
  
Z: defensively They're very advanced – look at all the details!   
  
J: Great, so now we –   
  
Z: You *do* know you sound like a grouchy old woman, right? Just concentrate on the sithin' computer.   
  
J: FINE! *locates a bit red button on the far left and smacks it as hard as she can*   
  
*both jump away from the computer wall and cover their heads in case something explodes*   
  
*nothing happens*   
  
J: whispers Is it…safe?   
  
Z: *peers out from under the dejarik table* *shocked* Nothing happened.   
  
J: WHAT?! But I pressed THE BIG RED button! SOMETHING should have happened!   
  
Z: *bewildered* One would think so…   
  
J: Great – now it's playing cat and mouse games with us. And I thought the 'Vong were inhumane.   
  
Z: I think you give the demon-spawned thing too much credit, Jay.   
  
J: That's what it wants you to think – as soon as it gets the chance – as soon as we relax – it's going to pounce and kill us all! *wails melodramatically* We're doomed – *doomed* – DOOMED!   
  
Z: *aghast* Jay! CALM DOWN!   
  
J: *stops* Sorry. *pauses* *grabs her lightsaber in one hand and then pulls the metal mop-water bucket off her head and stands*   
  
Z: Any suggestions that don't have to do with how, er *snickers* 'doomed' we are?   
  
J: *glares at Zekk* Ha sithin' ha. *stares hard at computer* Hm… *looks over at the holo phone* Hm… *looks at her nails* Hm…   
  
*pause*   
  
Z: What?   
  
J: *sighs despondently* I *really* need to get a manicure.   
  
Z: *rolls his eyes* While you think about that, perhaps you could think of how to get us out of this mess?!   
  
J: *thinks hard* Well………………………we *could* call Lowie.   
  
Z: YES! *beams* Genius idea, Jay. Go call him.   
  
J: Why me?   
  
Z: He likes you better. Whenever he sees me he kinda……growls at me   
  
J: Lowie? Growl? What are you ON? He doesn't growl!   
  
Z: He doesn't growl around *you*. He hasn't liked me since I started putting my wads of bubble gum in his fur whenever a garbage can wasn't nearby.   
  
J: Then you deserve it; Lowie had to shave his entire back and a big part of his stomach fur because of your Bubble-icious wads   
  
Z: Which makes all the better of an idea that *you* call him.   
  
J: But – but………………. *whimpers* I'd have to go past the C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R."   
  
Z: Uh…Jay? Why are you spelling –   
  
J: So it won't know I'm talking about it! *rolls her eyes* mutters Men.   
  
Z: exasperated It's a *computer* Jay   
  
J: *glares* I'm not walking past it.   
  
Z: *grits his teeth* Fine. If you don't want to walk past it, go into the lounge and use the holo-phone *there*   
  
J: *thinks* *looks at the computer* *looks in the direction of the lounge* You're coming with me   
  
Z: I already told you he hates me!   
  
J: *glares* Zekk. Ennth. You. ARE. Coming.   
  
Z: *gulps* *stutters* O-O-OK.   
  
*Z and J go into the lounge*   
  
J: *dials Lowie's ship holo-phone*   
  
Z: *hides behind Jaina*   
  
J: What are you *doing*????   
  
Z: What does it look like?!   
  
J: *rolls her eyes* Men. Frightened of even the littlest thing.   
  
Z: I wouldn't talk, Miss –   
  
J: *glares at Zekk*   
  
Z: *freezes* I'm not saying anything.   
  
J: Good. *flips her hair* Now stop being a sissy and get out from behind me.   
  
Z: Who said this is about being a sissy? Maybe I'm just here so I can look at your, uh –   
  
J: Finish that sentence and you're a dead man.   
  
Z: Yes sir – er, ma'am – er, Miss – er, Colonel, er –   
  
J: Just get out from behind me. It's starting to annoy me.   
  
Z: Yes Goddess.   
  
*holophone screen blinks on*   
  
J: Hm…where's Lowie?   
  
Z: *silent shock*   
  
J: *looks at the screen* Oh sweet Force…   
  
Z: Turn it off! Turn it off!   
  
J: *continues to stare in gruesome fascination* Is that even physiologically possible for a Wookiee?!?!?!?!?!   
  
Z: Just turn it off, vong it!   
  
J: *slaps it off*   
  
*loooooooooooooooooong pause*   
  
J: *swallows* I guess Uncle Luke's matchmaking attempts with Lowie and Raaba were successful   
  
Z: *gags in a delayed reaction* I'm scarred for life.   
  
*pause*   
  
J: *looking troubled* We have to go back into there, don't we?   
  
Z: *still staring at the (blank) holophone screen* Huh?   
  
J: *forcefully turns Zekk's head away from the holo-phone screen* We have to go back to that demon spawned…machine…don't we?   
  
Z: Frankly, I don't think anything can be worse than what was just on……..*that*   
  
J: Wanna bet?   
  
Z: *sighs* Just get it over with.   
  
J: *pouts but leads the way back to the computer room* muttering I am *never* letting you buy something without me seeing it first ever again…   
  
Z: *ignores her*   
  
*both stare at the computer*   
  
J: *finally* I'd just like to state right now that I *hate* the Chiss.   
  
Z: Funny, considering how you swapped spit with one for two and a half years.   
  
J: Shut up *silence, then* We can't use this thing…it'll eat us alive.   
  
Z: *rolls his eyes* Oh c'mon. We can do this *Swallows, but steps forward and tentatively presses a few buttons*   
  
*pause*   
  
Z: See! Nothing hap –   
  
**_*BOOM*_**   
  
*both are thrown against the far wall, where they stare in shock*   
  
J: It…that…was that…supposed to happen?   
  
Z: *blinks* You mean the 'ka-bloom'? …Uh, no, I don't think so.   
  
J: *takes a step forward*   
  
*The front half of the computer falls off with a BAM*   
  
J: *yips and jumps out of the way* *whispers* I think…you set it to self-destruct.   
  
Z: Affirmative…   
  
*silence*   
  
J: Three weeks to mail, huh?   
  
Z: On a good day, seeing as how we're on the Outer Rim.   
  
*pause*   
  
J: Do you want to write it or should I?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~TJF


End file.
